


Something I Can Never Have

by GoodGollyMissYollie (Yollie183)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan is a bartender, Dan thinks Phil is hot, Dan wears lots of leather, Gay Club, I Don't Even Know, I Suck At Writing Smut, Like surface of the sun hot, M/M, Not Punk though, Oops, Phil (maybe) wants to get Dan out of his leather clothes, Phil is hot, Phil is in a band, Phil's band sounds like Nine Inch Nails, Smut, Spoiler Alert - Freeform, They have tattoos and piercings, Wayne's World references abound, Why are you still reading these? I am an idiot, like there's two Wayne's World references, really hot, sorry for the innuendo, there's smut now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-03-22 02:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3711223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yollie183/pseuds/GoodGollyMissYollie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan works in a gay club. Phil is in a band. Dan wears leather. Phil has Pokemon tattoos.</p><p>*** ON HIATUS ***<br/>sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Grey Would Be The Colour If I Had A Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Work and chapter titles from Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails.  
> The name of the club was borrowed from Wayne's World (if you haven't watched it - go watch it! It's freakin' excellent!)
> 
> Phil has ear gauges and lots of colourful tattoos. Dan has snakebites.

Dan Howell was late for work.

He ran out of his apartment building, gesturing wildly to hail a cab. Once inside the musty car, he pulled an eye pencil and small mirror from his bag and started applying thick black lines around his dark eyes, ignoring the curious look the cabbie gave him.

He finished the eyeliner just in time as the cabbie pulled up outside the club where Dan worked.

A large red sign over the door read : THE TOOL BOX.

From inside, Dan could hear the last strains of YMCA fading away.

“Thank god,” he muttered, walking round the back to the service entrance. He was certain if he had to listen to that song one more time he was going to strangle someone. Inside, the club was dark, streaked with neon here and there, but mostly filled with people who could’ve stepped right out of a Nine Inch Nails music video. He smiled at a few familiar faces as he made his way behind the bar.

“You’re late,” Chris, his friend and fellow bartender, hissed.

“Sorry,” Dan gave his best puppy-dog expression, which made Chris grin despite his obvious annoyance.

Deciding it would be a bad idea to waste more time, Dan turned to the first person he saw and took their drink orders.

“Did I miss anything important?” Dan asked Chris while he mixed a cosmo.

“Not much, just the arrival of tonight’s band, they’ll be playing later.”

“Did Louise notice me being late?”

“Yep,” Chris grinned. “You’re in trouble.”

Dan groaned inwardly. Mostly, Louise – the club manager – was awesome, but she hated tardiness, and Dan was already on thin ice with her.

“What band is playing tonight?” Dan asked, reaching for a bottle of tequila.

“They’re called Seraph,” Chris replied.

“Never heard of them,” Dan murmured, mostly to himself.

For the next hour, Dan mixed drinks and flashed his dimpled smile while the tip jar filled up. Money was the main reason he worked at The Tool Box, despite a) not being gay and b) being the most awkward and clumsy person in London. And, for a sexually ambiguous young man who wasn’t afraid to flirt a little, the money was damn good. It paid his tuition fees and put food on the table, and Dan had very little to complain about.

Dan noticed a group of men – tonight’s band, Seraph – take to the small stage opposite the bar, and the music from the DJ died down. The drummer snapped his sticks together to count them in and they started playing. The music was dark, prog rock with a slight electric edge. Then the vocalist stepped up to the microphone and Dan stopped breathing.

Pale skin, black hair, vivid blue eyes, ear gauges and arms covered in colourful tattoos, a voice – deep and captivating – that sent tingles down Dan’s spine.

With a muffled crash, a bottle of caramel vodka slipped through Dan’s fingers and exploded on the floor. The strobe lights reflected madly off the broken glass and golden liquid. _Madly,_ the word echoed through Dan’s sluggish brain. He was mad. There was no reason for the man to have such an effect on him. None at all. Dan was not gay. Nope.

 _But look at him!_ His mind insisted. _Have you ever seen anyone that fucking breathtakingly stunning?_

A slap to the back of his head brought Dan back to reality.

“That’s coming out of your tips!” Chris shouted in Dan’s ear, motioning to the smashed vodka bottle on the ground. “Clean it up!”

Dan nodded, tearing his eyes away from the singer with extreme difficulty. The man’s slender, pale hands were gripping the mike like a lifeline, while his whole body moved sinuously in time to the music.

Dan’s mouth was dry, his leather pants suddenly uncomfortably tight as he set about cleaning up the mess on the floor.

For the rest of the band’s set, Dan felt his eyes drawn to the singer, now gripping the mike stand, now strumming a guitar, now screaming until the veins and tendons in his neck seemed taught as piano strings and Dan wondered how they’d feel beneath his lips.

 _You’re not gay,_ he told himself, but try as he might, he couldn’t deny his visceral attraction to the blue-eyed man.

One song in particular nearly caused Dan to lose all self-control: a cover of Nine Inch Nails’ Closer.

Hearing those crude lyrics in the man’s deep voice was like an electric shock to Dan’s nervous system and he had to grip the edge of the bar to keep himself upright, his eyes drawn magnetically to the stage and the man now singing, almost sweetly ‘I want to fuck you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside. I want to fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to God.”

Finally the band’s set was over and Dan managed to get himself under control. That is, until the singer decided he wanted a drink and sauntered over to the bar.

“Chris,” Dan hissed, trying to hide behind his friend as he saw the man approaching. “You’ve got to serve him, please.”

But Chris just gave an evil grin, shook his head and unceremoniously shoved Dan toward the man, just as he perched on a stool.

“Uh... Hi?” Dan focused his gaze on a spot just above the man’s shoulder. “What can I get you?” His voice sort of faded out on the last two words.

“A beer, please,” the man’s voice was slightly hoarse from singing and Dan just nodded, focusing on breathing. He got the man his drink,  and tried to slink away, but that gravelly voice stopped him.

“I’m Phil.”

“Uhm... Da- Dan. I’m Dan.” Dan could feel his face going red. He couldn’t help but meet the man – no, Phil – Phil’s gaze.

“Nice to meet you, Da- Dan.” Phil’s smile was teasing.

Dan wasn’t sure if it was possible to blush any deeper than he was right now. He was sure that, if he didn’t escape immediately, he would spontaneously combust.

“You too,” he choked out, stumbling away and out from behind the bar, answering Chris’ question with “I’m gonna go get more tequila from the back!” even thought there were six full bottles behind the bar.

He almost made it, but just as he was about to turn the corner to the hallway leading to the offices and storeroom, a black-clad figure blocked his path.

“Hi again,” Phil’s voice was mocking as Dan looked helplessly into blue eyes. They were roughly the same height, but instead of putting Dan at ease, he felt like a kid playing at being grown-up.

Phil lifted his hand, running slender fingers over the collar of Dan’s leather shirt. Dan swallowed against the sudden dryness in his mouth, his body paralyzed by Phil’s touch. Phil leaned down, ghosting his lips across Dan’s jaw line, until Dan could feel his hot breath fanning over the shell of his ear.

“What time does your shift end?”

“T- two,” Dan stuttered, his knees trembling. He chewed rather painfully on one of his snakebites.

“I’ll meet you outside,” Phil’s hoarse voice whispered in his ear, then he pulled away, sauntering to the dancefloor where a good-looking young man in a white Seraph t-shirt intercepted him.

For the next forty-five minutes, Dan was lost in thought. He was in utter disbelief at the way he reacted to Phil, he was sure people only felt that way in stupid vampire stories. Yet, as 2am approached, Dan’s stomach filled with butterflies and his hands kept shaking. He could hardly even focus on Louise telling him off for being late again. He stammered out an apology, his eyes flicking to the clock on the wall behind her desk.

“Do you have somewhere you need to be?” Louise asked, her voice unexpectedly sharp.

“I, uh, no... no, nowhere,” Dan could tell his denial wasn’t fooling Louise.

“What’s going on?” Louise raised an eyebrow, twirling a glittery pink pen between her fingers.

“Nothing!” Dan said, a little too loudly. “Nothing. I’m just supposed to be meeting someone, is all.”

“At 2am?” Louise’s eyes softened, she looked a bit worried.

“It’s fine,” Dan tried to assure her. “We’re just going for... uhm... a coffee.”

Louise still looked unconvinced, but she bid Dan a goodnight with a last warning to not be late again, and Dan rushed out of her office. It was 02:07 according to the display on Dan’s phone, and he wondered if Phil would actually be waiting, or if he’d found someone else.

Dan left the club, walking around the corner to the front door. He had himself almost convinced that Phil would have left, not bothering to wait on a nobody like Dan.

 


	2. You Let Me Desecrate You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Closer by Nine Inch Nails.

The first thing Dan saw as he rounded the corner was Phil, leaning against a lamppost in all his leather-jacketed glory, breath misting in the chilly air. Dan shivered, less from the cold than anticipation and stepped closer, his breath catching as Phil turned his head to grin at him. His blue eyes shone with a mischievous light.

“Hi,” he said, his voice still raspy.

“Hi,” Dan answered.

“Shall we?” Phil moved his head to indicate the abandoned pavement. Dan nodded and fell into step beside him. The silence dragged on between them, and Dan found himself chewing on the side of his thumb. He pulled his hand hastily away from his mouth when he noticed Phil looking at him.

“I, uhm... I really liked your music,” Dan blurted, feeling himself blush.

“Thank you,” Phil answered. Dan could hear the smile in Phil’s voice.

“So... where are we going, exactly?”

“There’s a coffee shop close to here that’s open all night,” Phil was grinning now.

“Oh,” Dan wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it definitely hadn’t been coffee. _At least I had told Louise the truth,_ he thought to himself.

“Do you not like coffee?” Phil asked, his eyes still on Dan’s face.

“I do,” Dan answered.

“Are you afraid I’m going to kidnap you and lock you in a tower?”

Dan let out a little giggle. “Is that a possibility?”

“I unfortunately do not have a tower,” Phil said, shaking his head in mock regret. The movement made his black fringe flop over his eyes.

“That’s too bad,” Dan grinned.

They reached the coffee shop, still grinning and Phil held the door open for Dan. The coffee shop was warm and cosy, with one wall taken up by rows of bookshelves. Dan wandered over to the shelves after they had placed their orders at the counter. He ran his fingers down the spine of a battered copy of The Hobbit. Dan felt an arm encircle his waist and a chin come to rest on his shoulder.

“Have you read it?”

Dan nodded, tilting his head a little to press his cheek against Phil’s. Their moment was interrupted by the barista calling them to collect their coffees. Dan wrapped his fingers around the paper cup, following Phil out into the darkness. This time Phil hailed a cab, giving an address not far from Dan’s own apartment. For the first time since he had left the club, Dan felt a flurry of butterflies in his stomach. He looked over at Phil and found him staring right back. Dan bit his bottom lip, dropping his eyes. The car journey was over sooner than Dan wanted it to be. He was slowly beginning to realise just how out of his depth he was. He was by no means inexperienced, but he’d never so much as kissed another guy. Now he found himself walking up a flight of stairs, his fingers intertwined with Phil’s.

 _How much different would it be?_ Dan wondered. There was no denying his instant, breathless attraction to the older man, but he was still a little unsure about what he was doing. _Would it hurt?_ Another unbidden thought made it’s way into Dan’s mind. He bit down harder on his lip. They reached the front door and Phil opened it, stepping aside to let Dan enter first. Phil’s apartment was large and airy. Phil led the way to the lounge and Dan followed, taking in his surroundings. There was a large Muse poster in a frame on one wall, and a beautiful watercolour depicting a scene from feudal Japan on the opposite wall. The sofa was a dark blue, with brightly coloured Pokémon cushions laying haphazardly on it. Down the hall, just off the lounge, Dan could see the kitchen. His sightseeing stopped there though, with Phil stepping in front of him.

“The lip biting is absolutely sinful,” Phil murmured.

Dan released his lip from between his teeth, his gaze locked with the older man’s. Phil moved closer, one hand cupping Dan’s cheek, the other gently resting on his waist. Then Phil was kissing him, and every worry, every doubt and misgiving evaporated from Dan’s mind to be replaced by _Phil..._ Phil’s lips on his, Phil’s teeth gently nibbling at the rings in his lower lip, Phil’s fingers pushing aside his shirt to stroke across his skin, Phil’s scent, Phil’s taste, just Phil.

Somehow, still kissing Dan, Phil managed to steer him down the hall, up the stairs and into a bedroom. Dan noticed little besides the blue and green bedspread, his senses too overpowered to take in anything else. Phil pushed him down, until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Dexterous hands removed Dan’s shirt, fingers running across the newly bared skin. Then Phil dropped to his knees between Dan’s legs. Dan couldn’t tear his eyes away from Phil’s hands as he unbuckled Dan’s belt and popped the button on his leather pants.

“Lie back,” Phil said. It wasn’t quite a command, but there was an authorative note in his voice that made Dan obey instantly. He squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the sound of the zipper being pulled down. Then he felt Phil’s hands on his ankles, pulling off his shoes and socks. Dan curled his toes as Phil ran his fingers over the soles of his feet. It was a surprisingly erotic sensation. Phil ran his hand up Dan’s legs and across his thighs, bringing a quiet whimper to the younger boy’s lips. Then he hooked his fingers over the waistband and pulled the leather pants off in one swift motion, leaving Dan as naked as the day he was born. Dan curled his fingers into Phil’s bedspread, trying to resist the urge to cover himself with his hands. Phil gently ran his fingers over Dan’s exposed flesh and Dan lifted his head to watch. Phil’s eyes were dilated, almost entirely black as he surveyed Dan. He lowered his head, placing a soft, almost chaste kiss to Dan’s erection.

“Oh god,” Dan breathed, letting his head fall back and closing his eyes.

Phil licked a hot line up Dan’s cock, before taking the head between his lips. Dan squirmed on the bed, wanting more, wanting everything. Phil gripped his hips, keeping Dan still as he swallowed him down, sucking and licking as if giving Dan pleasure was the reason for his existence. Dan had had blowjobs before, but never like this. Never from someone who understood exactly each sensation flooding from his cock to his brain. Moments before Dan’s orgasm, Phil pulled away. Dan let out a frustrated grumble, sitting up and reaching out to Phil. He wound his fingers through Phil’s black hair and tugged him upwards, onto the bed, on top of him, so he could crash their lips together in a heated kiss. Dan pulled at Phil’s belt, struggling to get the buckle undone and he heard Phil’s little giggle.

“In a hurry?” Phil teased.

“Yes, I fucking am!” Dan growled. “Now take off your clothes and fuck me!”

Phil’s grin was downright wolfish as he complied. He pulled of his shirt, tossing it away, before tugging off his skinny jeans and socks. For a moment, Dan felt a sense of triumph, looking at Phil’s colourfully inked skin, then he remember the second part of his demand and felt his cheeks heat up. Phil tangled one hand into Dan’s hair, kissing him again, using his other hand to guide Dan’s hand down between their bodies. Dan wrapped his fingers around Phil’s cock, moaning a little at the silky feel and the fact that Phil was hard for _him._

“A little harder,” Phil whispered against his lips and Dan obeyed. Phil turned his head and sank his teeth into Dan’s shoulder, not biting hard enough to hurt, but just enough to bring a moan from Dan’s throat.

“I though you were going to fuck me?” Dan wasn’t sure where his sudden boldness came from, but he was way past acting innocent.

“Yes, I am.” Phil leaned away from Dan, yanking open a drawer in the nightstand to retrieve a bottle of lube. Then he sat back on his knees, between Dan’s legs and poured a liberal amount of gel onto his fingers. Dan bit his lip in anticipation. He had a fair idea of how this works, but all the theory in the world can’t compare to actual experience.

“Ready?” Phil asked. He must have seen something on Dan’s face, because his eyebrows were pulled together in a frown.

“Yes,” Dan nodded. “Please.”

Phil reached down, gently circling Dan’s entrance with his fingers, before sliding a finger inside. Dan let out a moan, discomfort giving way to sheer erotic sensation and Phil pushed in a second finger.

“Am I hurting you?” Phil asked, his eyes on Dan’s flushed face.

“No, keep going,” Dan’s hands were fisted into the bedspread, his chest rising and falling with each rapid breath. “It feels good.”

Phil complied, scissoring his fingers as he moved them, before adding a third.

“Fuck,” Dan gasped out and Phil grinned, leaning down to kiss him.

“I’m going to fuck you now,” Phil growled against his lips and Dan had to stop himself from begging for Phil to just _do it_ already.

Phil hooked one arm behind Dan’s leg, lifting it to gain better access before placing his cock against Dan’s entrance. He licked over Dan’s pierced lip as he slowly pushed inside, pausing once he was as deep as he could go. He waited until Dan’s hands gripped his hips, urging him on, before he started to move. The first few thrusts were slow, gentle, until Dan’s body had adjusted. Once Dan’s moans changed to pleas for him to “move, goddamnit!”, Phil started thrusting harder. He gripped Dan’s cock in one hand, stroking in time with the movement of his hips and Dan felt himself start to come apart at the edges.

“Phil, oh fuck, Phil, oh yes, god, yes, fuck oh fuck oh _fuck, Phil!_ ” Dan wasn’t sure what he was saying, only that with each thrust, Phil was hitting a spot deep inside him that seemed to trigger every nerve in his body with pure pleasure and he wanted more, wanted everything Phil was willing to give. His fingers dug into Phil tattooed hips as he felt his climax build from the pit of his belly.

“That’s right,” Phil’s voice rasped above him. “Come for me, Dan, now!”

Dan came, his seed spilling over Phil’s hand and his own stomach, Phil’s name on his lips. Phil followed him over the edge, collapsing into Dan’s embrace, a thin sheen of sweat covering his back and arms.

 

“You’ve never done this before, have you?” Phil spoke a little later, after they had crawled under the sheets. Dan’s hair tickled Phil’s chest as he moved his head a little.

“Done what?” Dan asked, a little too innocently.

“Had sex with a guy,” Phil replied. His fingers had been tracing patterns across Dan’s shoulder blades, but now they stilled.

“What makes you say that?” Dan was sure he hadn’t said anything to give him away.

“Just the look on your face, I suppose.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Not as much as it should.” Dan felt Phil shift a little, his arms tightening across Dan’s waist, perhaps as a sort of apology for his rather harsh words. “Go to sleep, Dan.”

Dan closed his eyes, but didn’t fall asleep until the first lightening of the sky could be seen through the curtains.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O.o 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's read and kudo'd!


	3. I Just Want Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update? Really? Wow!!!
> 
> I'm sorry for taking so long to update! I've had horrendous writer's block, and I've been busy with preparations for my fics for the Phandom Big Bang (*self-promos like a pro* *NOT*)

Dan woke up slowly, aware of an almost pleasant ache in his body. He could hear footsteps and light thuds from somewhere nearby. Stretching, he opened his eyes, surveying the room. He was lying in a tangle of blue and green bedclothes, the sky beyond the windows was grey and overcast, there was a framed Howl’s Moving Castle poster on the wall opposite the bed. And Phil was there, shirtless, packing clothes into a large black suitcase.

“Good morning,” Phil said. His eyes behind black-framed glasses were as gloomy as the sky outside.

“Mornin’,” Dan returned, stifling a yawn behind one hand. “Is it still morning?”

Phil glanced at his phone. “Just barely, it’s half-past eleven.”

“You’re packing,” Dan observed. He sat up, pulling the sheet up to his chin.

“Yep.”

“Where... uh... where are you going?”

“LA.”

“Today? Why?”

“We’re recording an album there.”

“An album? Why there?”

Phil looked at him impatiently, throwing a straightener haphazardly into his suitcase.

“Because the record company that signed us is located there. Last night was our celebratory last-night-as-a-garage-band gig.”

“I didn’t know,” Dan murmured.

There was an awkward minute while Phil sorted through a pile of socks.

“I should probably get home.”

“Dan,” Phil started, then pressed his lips together. He sat down on the side of the bed. “I really should’ve made things clear. Last night was fun, but... it was just some fun.”

Dan looked at Phil’s profile.

“Yeah, I know.” He succeed quite well in sounding okay about it.

 

Much later, back home, Dan took a long, hot shower. He pictured washing away the previous night. Washing away Phil.

It didn’t work.

He was early for his shift at The Tool Box, earning him a smile from Louise.

He decided to put Phil out of his mind. He would be nothing more than a footnote in a rock star’s biography. And he was okay with that, more so as the weeks turned into months and he shared the beds of beautiful girls and hung out with Chris and Louise.

 

Two months after his night with Phil, Dan met Luci.

She was lovely, dark-haired, blue eyed. She made him dinner and kicked his ass in Mario Kart.

 

She bought bright orange sheets because she said his black ones were depressing.

Dan laughed and kissed her, smiling against her lips.

 

“Dan!” Luci called up the stairs. “Your phone’s ringing!”

Dan met her halfway down the steps, cursing his apartment’s two floors when he tripped and nearly fell into Luci.

“Thanks,” he said breathlessly, answering the call. “Hello?”

“ _Hi._ ” the voice on the other end sounded so familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it.

“Who is this?” he asked, descending the stairs with his hand on Luci’s shoulder.

“ _It’s Phil, I don’t know if you remember me, we met at the bar where you worked, I’m in a band...”_

For a moment, Dan was stunned into silence. Then he recovered his faculties.

“Yes, of course I remember.”

“ _Dan... I need your help._ ”

 

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Dan asked, looking at Phil’s hands – clasped white-knuckled around a mug of coffee. They were in the same coffee shop Phil had taken Dan that night months ago. Dan had rushed there from his apartment after giving Luci a quick kiss and no explanation, because Phil had begged him to meet him over the phone, stating over and over again that he needed Dan’s help. Since he’d arrived, however, Phil had barely said a word.

“I’m in trouble.” Phil’s face was pale, drawn, with dark circles under his cloudy blue eyes. He’d lost weight, Dan could tell.

“What kind of trouble?”

“The kind that comes with a band and a record deal and LA nightlife.”

“What kind of help do you need from me?”

“I just... need a friend,” Phil kept his eyes on the table.

“A friend?” Dan asked. “I can’t imagine you have any shortage of friends, Phil.”

“I do,” Phil mumbled. “I need someone who isn’t a part of that world.”

Dan bit his lip, watching Phil take a sip of coffee. “Why me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where’d you even get my number?”

“I sent myself a text from your phone, that morning after... while you were still asleep. You really should set a pass code to unlock it, by the way.”

“I’m surprised you even remember me.”

Phil looked up at Dan. “I’m not that much of a dick.”

“Never said you were.”

“I’m not.”

“Okay.”

Phil sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have wasted your time.”

He started to get up, but Dan grabbed his arm, keeping him in his seat.

“You’re not wasting my time, Phil. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now tell me what exactly is going on.”

And Phil talked. Dan ordered more coffee, listening to him with the bare minimum of interruptions. Phil and his band had gone to America, signed to a big label, started to record an album while going to parties and events to promote themselves, get to know other people in the business. Phil almost never had a good time, drinking more and more to get in the mood, sometimes taking a pill when the alcohol wasn’t enough.

“I know it’s part of the rock star life, but it’s not me. It’s not who I want to be.” Phil honestly looked miserable. Dan reached out across the table, clasping Phil’s cold fingers. “We’re about to start touring now.”

“I know, I saw a few ads.”

“Dan,” Phil held Dan’s hand in both of his. “Come with me. Please?”

Dan’s eyes widened. He had absolutely not expected this.

“Phil... I wish I could. I really do. But I’ve still got half a year of uni, I’ve got a job, a girlfriend –“.

“You have a girlfriend?” Phil interrupted.

“Yeah. We’ve been together almost four months. But, like I was saying, I can’t just up and leave to go on tour with you.”

Phil’s expression closed off. “Of course. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Phil –“, Dan began, but Phil just shook his head.

“I should go.”

He got up, leaving Dan to stare at the wall of bookcases, torn. Should he get up, catch up to Phil? Could he leave Luci, leave his studies, to go on tour with a band, just because the guy he had a one-night stand with months ago needed a friend? Dan stayed in the coffee shop for a long while. Then he took a cab back to his apartment.

 

Luci was waiting for him, worry etched on her face.

“What happened?” She asked, coming to sit next to him on the sofa.

Dan started talking, giving her a basic overview of how he met Phil and why Phil had wanted to see him after so long.

“I think you should go,” Luci said abruptly.

“What?” Dan was sure he’s heard wrong.

“He’s your friend, he needs help. You should go,” Luci stated.

“What about you? What about uni?”

“Once you’ve handed in your thesis, you’re done.”

“And you?” Dan raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll be here when you get back. Besides, I have that trip coming up with the company.”

Luci worked for a graphic design company and she’d been handpicked to go to South America for a huge project.

“I barely know him,” Dan said, grasping at straws, because his mind was already compiling a list of things to pack.

“If it doesn’t work out, you can just come back home,” Luci reasoned.

“Yes, I suppose I can.”

 

The next morning, Dan went to Phil’s apartment. He tried not too dwell too much on the fact that he still remembered the address. He knocked on the door. After a long minute, it was opened by a bleary-eyed Phil, wearing only boxers and mismatched socks.

“Dan?” Phil squinted at him.

“Where are your glasses?” Dan asked, stepping into the apartment without invitation.

“Somewhere, probably,” Phil scratching his chest, leading the way to the kitchen. “What’re you doin’ he-ere?” The last syllable stretched by a wide yawn.

“I came to ask when we’re leaving and what I should pack,” Dan replied, his gaze following Phil as he made coffee.

“I thought you didn’t want to go,” Phil squinted at Dan, hand fumbling with a spoon.

“I changed my mind.”

“Why?”

“Because you asked for help.”

There was a moment of awkward silence, interrupted by the kettle emitting a loud beep when it came to boil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to have the next chapter up by Monday...
> 
> Also, I'm giving away a one-shot to the first person to leave a promt in the comments! (It's my apology for the lack of updates)

**Author's Note:**

> O.O
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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